Signs in Music?

I've always had a great appreciation for music. People closest to me may not believe me, because I generally don't share this. Hell, I even listen to sportstalk radio in the car. But the power of music is undeniable. It can transform your mood, or take you back to a time you otherwise wouldn't have thought about. I like to take it one step further. I believe there are signs in music. I know it sounds corny, but just about every girl I've come across I have a song attributed to. I don't pick it, it just kind of finds me. Did you ever notice that the song on the radio always seems to relate to YOUR life in some way? Just weird. Anyway, the point of all this is that after I broke up with my girlfriend, I heard this song. It's by Adam Lambert. These are the lyrics:



Hey, slow it down
What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?

Yeah, I'm afraid
What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?

There might have been a time
When I would give myself away
Oh, once upon a time
I didn't give a damn

But now, here we are
So, What do you want from me?

Just don't give up
I'm working it out
Please don't give in
I won't let you down
It messed me up
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, what do you want from me?
What do you want from me?

Yeah, it's plain to see
Baby you're beautiful
There's nothing wrong with you

It's me, I'm a freak
But thanks for loving me
"Cause you're doing it perfectly

Yeah, there might have been a time
When i would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life!

So, just don't give up
I'm working it out
Please don't give in
I won't let you down
It messed me up
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
What do you want from me?
I won't let you down.....

Now normally I wouldn't post song lyrics. But these have particular meaning. I mean, Adam Lambert isn't exactly my genre. But the words kind of spoke to me. At the time, I really thought (hoped/wished?) that these were the thoughts running through her head. I thought the move out here and living together "messed her up" or that she got scared. I really talked myself into believing she just needed some time ("a second to breathe") and not to give up on her. On us. I ws convinced that she would work out all the anxieties and let her walls down eventually, she just wasn't ready. And I decided I would wait and not give up on her. I would keep coming around, and she wouldn't let me down.....
Well, time moves on and it becomes apparent that once again I am retarded and I try to find something that clearly isn't there. And the only answer to "what do you want from me?" is probably "not a whole lot". So I was then convinced that I'm an idiot, and looking for signs had clearly been a dead end. But then she came back into my life. By "she" I mean the girl I've been spending time with now. The words apply to our relationship in such an unbelievable way. Our relationship has been a see-saw of reaching out and pulling away. We're never quite ready to give in, but never quite ready to go away. And hopefully we'll figure it out. Because for the first time in a long while, I've been smiling again....
This is not to say that I've lost any feeling for Megan. She truly is an amazing person. And I still am a sucker for her smile. Makes me melt every time. Makes me think I could love her forever. Trouble is, when we're together, there's not much smiling anymore, and that's sad. With this one, there may be a real chance at something, or a real chance at nothing. I just don't know. What I do know is that I'm ready to find out. And hopefully for better or worse, the question "what do you want from me?" will (finally?) have an answer......