Streams of Consciousness

I have so many things to say, yet I have trouble beginning. So I guess I'll just take my thoughts one by one...First, I've been struggling with the concept of love. I mean, what exactly is love anyway? Someone said to me that the reason they have a lot of sex is that it was her way of feeling loved. Can that be true? Is that possible? I mean I TOTALLY understand how sex can make you feel wanted, even needed. But LOVED? I never really thought so. To me, love is seeing a smile from across the room and knowing it's only for you. Or the absolute need to hear someone's voice when you're down. Or needing to share something first with someone when something positive happens. It's the ability to say nothing to someone, and yet say so much. Are these things you can get from purely a physical act? I think it's a great way to express love, but I don't think it alone is what love is all about. Then again, I'm apparently not very good at this love thing, so I may need to re-evaluate....
Second, on the concept of love, I have an internal debate as to what I actually want from love. I mean I'm with a girl now who is so incredible for me. She's beautiful, smart, and really loves me. Who can argue with that? But then there's another girl who makes me feel everything. I mean EVERYTHING. In a ten minute span she can make me feel joy, hatred, frustration, sadness, arousal, and pain. She can make me feel like I'm on top of the world or like I'm worthless. Is that good? Not sure. Truth is, I love them both. But what's best for me? Do I want the incredible highs while enduring enormous lows. Truth is this is the route I usually go. Because when I love someone, I throw myself into it. I care so much and want so much, that any setback crushes me. But maybe I'm starting to understand that you can't force something if it's not meant to happen. At some point, it has to be a two way street. I need to know that I have that kind of commitment back. She needs to be willing to take the risk too. Because two people opening up to each other and giving everything to each other physically and emotionally is what I'm constantly searching for. And she's not. Never has been. She's kept secrets throughout our relationship. And that's ok. I certainly understand the concept of putting walls up to protect myself. Done it a lot myself. So I really think I need to pursue this new relationship. I think it can be amazing if I let it. And while I will never stop loving Megan, she has some growing up to do and I hope she allows herself to be everything I know she already is and can be..
Third-What do you do when someone you care about makes bad decisions? Do you stop them or let them make their own mistakes? I think it's pretty obvious you can't stop them. So why bother? But what if something bad happens and you said nothing? Is it worth the guilt? I don't know, but I do know that caring and expressing concern has only caused a bigger wedge between us. Pretty sure that's not helping anyone. ..
I have a 4th and 5th, but frankly I'm just too tired. Maybe I'll post more another time. Or maybe I won't. I haven't been real good at decisions lately, so we'll just see what happens...