Alone in My Living Room

Ahhhh, another vacation. It's a Tuesday, like any other. But I'm alone, it's midnight and I can't even think about sleeping. Why? Have no idea. I just always take this time to let my thoughts drift. I wonder where I went wrong, what I could have done differently. I feel like I am watching my life run in place, making the same mistakes over and over while everyone else is moving on, growing up, doing amazing things. My cousin just had a baby, and my YOUNGER brother has bought a house and has a 2nd child on the way. What have I done? I'm hung up on a girl that barely responds to my text messages, Heather has decided a week after telling me we're "soul mates" that she needs space, and my latest decides that she's going to London for the next 5 years. It's like the same old story. Meet a girl, think there's a chance, and the rug gets pulled out from under me. And then I end up sitting alone in my living room curled up with my cat, who I'm pretty sure would leave too if he had the chance. I don't know why it's so hard for me, maybe I try too hard, maybe I don't try hard enough, or maybe I'm just attracted to the wrong people. I just don't know. What I do know is this is getting old. I just want someone to give a shit. Tell me they love me. Life is too short to waste a lot of time with bullshit. I try to take every opportunity to let people know they are cared for. Is it too much to ask for it in return? I'd die for others, yet get nothing back. And so I sit here. Phones not ringing, no company, no plans. Another day in paradise......