Disappointment

I am so disappointed today. Problem is, I have no idea what I'm disappointed in. Things have just gotten so fucked up and I'm clueless how to fix it. I'm pretty sure the right answer is to keep my distance and hopefully things will eventually return to normal. But I can't. I work with her. I see her every day. And every day she acts indifferent towards me. She acts cold and distant. Things, mind you, that just a couple weeks ago she begged ME not to be. And when she's not apathetic, she's angry. Angry that I want to talk to fix it. Or explain myself. Or question what's going through her head. It's so frustrating. I just want to go back. I would kill to go back to when it was easy. When we constantly made each other smile. It truly made me as happy as I've ever been. I mean I love this girl. Love her more than anything. But I can't make her love me back. I wrote her a book for Valentine's Day. I poured my heart and soul into it. Meant every word. It meant a lot to me, because she means a lot to me. What did she get me? Nothing. Not even a card. And it makes me think it's because that's what I mean to her. Nothing. So where did it go wrong? Who knows? The final straw was when I apparently misinterpreted something she said. What she said hurt me a lot. Enough that I wrote about it here. So you would think that she would feel badly that she hurt me, even if unintentionally. But instead she yelled at me for twisting her words around and hasn't been the same since. I told her that I feel like I'm losing all my friends and she gets angry and feels like she can't be friends with me and it's my fault. Not exactly supportive. And yet I'm the one that feels like shit. I don't get it. So who should I be disappointed in? Her for pushing away? Or me for smothering so much that she felt like she had to. I don't know. I just know I'm lost without her. And it sucks...