Blackout

One of the amazing things about being in love is the feeling you get when you're around that person. You get goose bumps, you feel alive. Food tastes better, the sky is bluer, and little problems seem...well little. The world is a better place because they're around. The best part about BEING with someone is the electricity you feel. There's a spark, a feeling that's indescribable. Your heart races, the chemistry is undeniable, and and the excitement can be overwhelming. I say this because the saddest thing of all is the blackout. The blackout is when the electricity is shut off. No one flipped a switch, no one wants it to shut off, in fact there's a good chance you wish it would turn back on, but nothing. That's the feeling I get lately. Like I'm trying to flip the switch and turn everything back on again and feel that electricity again at least one more time. But I can't. If it's not there, I can't fake it and pretend it is. Nor can I expect her to. It's just frustrating because I miss it. I love that feeling. And maybe the reason I was such a mess was because I want the feeling back. And I want someone to have that feeling towards me again. I don't like feeling like just another person in the crowd. I want to be the one that makes someone excited. And I don't know how to get it back. Maybe I can't. Maybe I shouldn't want to. Maybe I should look for electricity in someone else's house. I just don't know. I just know that I feel empty without it..........